We got nuttin' but love for you, Heavy!

Since last night and through this morning I've been contemplating the words, "I can't breathe. I can't breathe." Reportedly, those were the last words of the iconic Heavy D. It is said that he was in distress before he died yesterday afternoon.

My heart is filled with sadness for his family and friends. I've been pausing periodically to send them my love through prayer. It all seems so unfair. Too final. Abrupt.

The first person I called when I got the breaking news from allhiphop.com was Timothy Jones. Tim and I headed the hip hop conference at Howard University (1991-96) and it was the hip hop conference that served as background for me having met Heavy D in the first place, 20 years ago. I was president of the conference and Heavy D was one of the biggest names in hip hop. We dedicated the conference to the several people that tragically lost their lives at the City College basketball game that Hev and Sean Combs promoted (Diddy was known as "Puffy" at the time). I remember Hev being consistently gracious. A gentle giant.

I didn't know Heavy D, I only met him. I loved what I saw, though: warmth, skill, talent, adaptability, a bright light, and some serious dance moves, LOL! He was fun and kind. A peer, he was my generation's version of "Mr. Big Stuff," and he was also my generation's version of Mr. Good Stuff. Meaning, Heavy embodied a spirit that reminded us to have fun and to dance, but without being silly or mindless or irresponsible. And to be cool at it.

Life has an unapologetic way of reminding us what's not promised. Death can come at any time, whether you do good work or not. Whether you pray, meditate, work out, eat healthy, tuck your children in at night, give tithes, meet your deadlines at work, call your loved ones just say "hi," go to yet another meeting, catch up on your reading, say a kind word, vote, protest, boycott, fight back...or not. Death is the victor every time so how we live our lives matters. Abrupt transitions like this give pause to the living.

I'm reminded of the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible. It is one of the sacred text that I turn to when things seem out of order. In it, Solomon contemplates the meaning of life. He takes a mental journey that is profoundly philosophical. In the end, we are reminded that, when all things are surveyed, it's best to live happy, enjoy work, and to have faith. And there is no way to have enduring faith without doing the work - be it spiritual work, intellectual work, political work, and the heavy-lifting work that is required to be women and men of good character.

Because I know that the sun shines on both the oppressed and the oppressors, my life is committed to preventing love deserts in my family and in my community. It's complex and it's hard work, but I'm not here to do much else.

Public Enemy at work. Heavy D at play. Bididilly-bididilly-didilly-didilly dee...or however you spell that thing he did. Hip hop heads know what I'm talkin' 'bout, LOL!

Thank you, sir. Thank you for sharing your talents
with us and reminding us, in your last tweet, to "be inspired."
We totally are. We got nuttin' but love for you, Heavy!

We wish you a peaceful journey.

Dwight Errington Myers aka Heavy D

(May 27, 1967 - November 8, 2011)

A few of my fav Heavy D videos are posted at

www.Facebook.com/AprilRSilverUnlimited

"And if you cannot work with love..."

We're in the last quarter of 2011 and I can't believe how turbulent it's been. In this 9th month, I'm looking back at months of loss, death, fatigue, mistakes, and worst of all betrayal by people who I thought were compassionate human beings. I feel as though I was born all over again, at 43; as though I just arrived on planet earth; as though I was made to learn some of life lessons from scratch, like a new born.

 

And most of the turbulence this year has been centered around work - or from people at work, or from the fact that there is so much work, that I can't ever seem to get a break from work, or that people don't want to pay for work, or that people disrespect my work. Rarely a minute to exhale. I do understand why some people seek refuge. Some do it by partying, with addictions, through seclusion. We all need exit routes.

 

But then Khalil comes to mind. He has been a source of clarity since I was introduced to him by my father in my teenage years. I hope this excerpt from The Prophet helps you as it did me this morning.

...Speak to us of

Work.

And he answered, saying:

You work that you may keep pace with

the earth and the soul of the earth.

...

You have been told also that life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary.

And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,

And all urge is blind save where there is knowledge,

And all knowledge is vain save where there is work,

And all work is empty save where there is love;

And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

...

Work is love made visible.

And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

For if you break bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger...

-- Khalil Gibran

Lebanese Poet, Philosopher, and Artist (1883 - 1931)

A Family Watches "Freedom Riders" by Stanley Nelson

I went to my brother and sister-in-law's home in Virginia two weeks ago for Mother's Day. Jenny B. Silver had wished for an extended Mother's Day weekend with her children so we obliged. It was a sweet weekend of enjoying each other's company and playing with Hoshi (my brother and sister-in-law's dog). Saturday, we took Ms. Silver shopping where she picked the gifts of her choice. That night, we went to a Japanese hibachi steakhouse but on Mother's Day my brother cooked a traditional soul food dinner, a highlight of the day.

 

The other highlight was Freedom Riders, the documentary by renowned filmmaker Stanley Nelson. The new film is based on the journey of young activists who, in the spring of 1961 (50 years ago this month), decided to challenge Jim Crow laws of the south. I'd brought the DVD to watch on the train ride to Virginia but didn't get that chance so I asked my family if we could watch it together. My mother agreed reluctantly. It was sometimes difficult, she said, to re-live this particular past.

 

I think you'll agree, if you watch the film tonight on PBS, that Freedom Riders is an instant classic. Eager to capture the personal feelings of someone familiar who had lived during this time, I got my mother on video. Click the image below to hear from the woman who birthed and raised me. She was 13 when the Freedom Riders came to the state where she was born.

 

click images above to WATCH VIDEO

 

Know Stanley Nelson and Firelight Media

I've known about Freedom Riders for about nine months now. Last summer AKILA WORKSONGS (AW) was hired to do a Put On BLAST!® email marketing campaign (POB!). While I missed the screenings then, I acquired a copy of the DVD in April from a friend working on the film's community outreach. And on May 4, Oprah dedicated a show to the historic journey and it included Stanley. It was exciting to watch Mr. Nelson being warmly appreciated by one of the most powerful media titans in the world. Yet I was floored to find out later that POB! was a part of Oprah learning about the film in the first place!

 

My first introduction to the master filmmaker was via Ras Baraka in 2001. At the time I didn't know who was behind a documentary that Ras kept talking about. Once I watched Marcus Garvey: Look for Me in the Whirlwind, however, I understood what all the raving was about.

 

In 2003, AW managed and publicized the  National Black Writers Conference where Dr. Brenda Greene featured Mr. Nelson and his latest project, The Murder of Emmett Till. Another classic. In 2006, AW began working with Byron Hurt, one of Nelson's mentees. Nelson executive produced Hurt's Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes, the award-winning film documentary that also aired on PBS. Over the years, I'd come to watch and/or promote other Nelson projects: Running: The Campaign for City Council (2002), Sweet Honey in the Rock: Raise Your Voice (2005), Jonestown: The Life and Death of People's Temple (2006), and Wounded Knee (2008).

 

I do not understand how one becomes as prolific and uniquely revealing as Stanley Nelson. He makes hard working people look like slackers. However it happens, I'm thanking God for Firelight Media. The company's work is necessary in our journey for self-knowledge as a community. The writer Joan Morgan once said, "I don't know how you can call yourself a Black writer if you haven't studied James Baldwin." By extension, I don't know if you one can claim they know the Black experience if they haven't seen a Stanley Nelson film.

 

Freedom Riders airs on PBS tonight but you can also own a copy, get background educational information, join the outreach campaign, and/or make a donation to keep this kind of documentary filmmaking alive.Take the next step now.

I Host a Screening of "I Will Follow" THIS SATURDAY

I am happy to make this special announcement about the film "I Will Follow" and the fact that I'm hosting a screening THIS SATURDAY in New York City at 6pm (all details below).

Shout out to ImageNation for doing great work and for helping to market the hell out of this indie film :-)
--

April R. Silver of AKILA WORKSONGS, Inc.
to Will Host a Screening of the Film
I WILL FOLLOW
March 19, 2011 (THIS SATURDAY)

at the 34th Street AMC Theater
in New York City

Silver is proud to support the efforts of ImageNation and Urbanworld in presenting the New York City theatrical release of the critically acclaimed film "I Will Follow," starring Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Omari Hardwick, Blair Underwood and Beverly Todd.

ImageNation [www.imagenation.us] and Urbanworld [www.urbanworld.com] are members of the African American Film Festival Releasing Movement (AFFRM).

*ABOUT THE FILM*
Maye (Richardson-Whitfield) is a success. Hot career. Hot boyfriend. But when her world is turned upside down by tragedy, she must struggle to keep her balance. "I Will Follow" chronicles a day in the life of a woman at a crossroads, and the twelve people who help her move forward into a brave, new world.

"I Will Follow" is written and directed by 2011 NAACP Image Award nominee AVA DuVERNAY.

WHEN: March 19, 2011

WHERE: AMC Loews 34th Street (located at 312 W. 34 Street, between 8th & 9th Avenues in New York City)

SHOWTIME: 6:00pm

BUY TICKETS at https://www.fandango.com/transaction/ticketing/redvines/ticketboxoffice.aspx?date=3%2F11%2F2011&tid=AAQCR&mid=142279&row_count=0

ABOUT AFFRM:
AFFRM's mission is to foster and further Black films through theatrical distribution beyond the studio system, powered by the nation's finest African-American film festival organizations. For more information, visit www.affrm.com

Quote of the Week: Rumi

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do."

Rumi

Thanks to Mo Beasley for introducing me to Rumi.

Quote of the Week: Immortalize Yourself

"We only live once. Since we are given the gift of life it should be our persistent endeavor to immortalize ourselves. No matter what field of endeavor we choose." ~ Michael Jackson.

When Spirit Leads...

Right after the Haiti earthquakes, Kevin Powell and I organized several Help Haiti events and this one in particular was early April 2010. As a co-organizer of the community forum, I was supposed to arrive early to help set up. I was running late and wasn't very happy about that.

I hustled from the train station to the Brooklyn Historical Society where the event was being held and for no reason at all, the well-being of Marie Eusebe (a good friend from my college days at Howard University) came front and center. "I wonder how Marie is doing?" The second question was "Where the hell did that random thought come from?" I had not seen or talked to Marie in at least 5 years. So I paid no attention to this peculiar sense and continued to rush to the venue.

I checked in with everyone, and everyone was on point: my team had set up the sign in/info table, the co-organizers were handling their responsibilities, the media crew was setting up, and all was going reasonably well. That gave me a moment to go to the ladies room, get my head together, relax my shoulder, and mediate on the people of Haiti. As a co-organizer and panelist, I needed a space where I could de-program and review my notes.

At some point, another woman either walked into the bathroom or came out one of the stalls. Because I was totally in my own head, I didn't zone in on her, but the moment I lifted my head to fix my face in the bathroom mirror, she called my name, "April Silver?? It's Marie Eusebe!!"

I stared at her in disbelief. How is it that I think of her just moments ago and she appears? In the ladies room, no less, I wondered.

To make matters even more phenomenal, she said "You are not going to believe this, but you ran across my mind the other day. Out of the blue...and now I see that you're doing this panel. How weird is that?"

I go on to tell her that for no apparent reason at all, her spirit came to me in the form of a question, as I was rushing from the subway. We spent the next few minutes marveling at the power of spirit and the realness of how connected we are. We were both amazed, but not fully. Actually, she and I shared thoughts on how our spirit selves have a way of getting what they need from our human shells, whether it makes sense to us or not.

Today, on the eve of the anniversary of the earthquake that devastated Haiti this time last year, I'm not thinking about - at least for this moment - all the political turmoil, the fraud, the exploitation, the disease, nor the chaos that has gripped the great island nation of Haiti. Instead I'm meditating on the hundreds of thousands of people of African ancestry who, in a matter of minutes, made their transition when the forces of nature shook the earth. In a matter of minutes, Haiti became the center of the world and, by and large, the focus was all wrong. The public and media chatter talked so much about what Haiti wasn't. Added to the conversation must be a loud amplification of what Haiti is and has always been. That conversation need not solely focus on an economic context. We, as human beings, are more profound than that one dimension.

Too quickly, Port-Au-Prince became a mass sacred burial ground, yet there is a message in that. We are reminded that spirit will take what it needs from this side in order to restore balance, in order to get us moving in the right direction. It's not a hard conclusion at which to arrive: The depth of devastation in Haiti, currently and throughout history, runs parallel to the gross injustices that she has endured, both from her so-called neighbors and from within. And spirit will not let us forget. Spirit will pull at us and show up in our lives until we restore balance...and get us moving in the right direction.

Tomorrow (January 12), Ms. Eusebe, who is from Haiti, is co-presenting a very special event at the Apollo Theater. The "Hope and A Future: A Benefit Concert for Haiti" will feature music, dance, and spoken word, but it is also a practical, responsible, direct line to offering relief to people in Haiti who have been terribly affected by the earthquake. AKILA WORKSONGS, Inc. is a Community Partner for this event. The Community2Community website explains it all: www.Community2Community.info.

Haitians are a resilient people and they have a lot to teach the world. There is a way to listen and demonstrate support in a way that is respectful and meaningful. Learn more via the Community2Community organization and join us tomorrow at The Apollo.

My Stuff on Trial (Or: The Joy of Letting Go)

What I learned coming into 2011: I have separation anxiety about everything!

Last month, my brother and sister-in-law visited for a weekend, right before Christmas. Omar barely took two steps into my apartment (which he hasn't been in since 2004) and said, "Yeah, you have to get rid of some of this stuff. You're a hoarder." I was mortified.

Prior to his arrival, I had asked him to come prepared to give me his honest opinion about my apartment once he arrived at my place. Don't know what triggered that solicitation, but I knew that I trusted him and that he would be honest...brutally so. But how, on God's green earth, could he call me a hoarder?

"I'm nothing like the people on the TV! Have you seen that show? Are you calling me one of them? " I asked arrogantly.

I was in total shock because, in fact, I am neat, organized, not messy, and definitely not filthy! Feeling attacked, I went on to argue about how orderly my space is; that my office and my home are one in the same. I have simply out-grown the apartment. Things would look quite differently once I separate home and office.

But Omar said I sounded like an alcoholic presenting the case of not being a "sloppy, non-functional alcoholic." He went on to ask, as he eyed the bottom shelf of one of my book cases, "What are you doing with those telephone logs from 1993?" I had a sound reason so I explained and he actually sided with me. But though I was relived, I couldn't deny the fact that perhaps I was holding on to too much stuff. For the first time, I was beginning to see a larger issue.

So I allowed myself to be picked at by Omar and Maria (my sister-in-law). It was surreal. I felt like a rat in a maze: There was hardly a place to escape. For nearly every rationalization, excuse, and reason that I offered as to why, for example, I had so many books (five floor-to-ceiling bookcases...and that's just in the living room), I got trumped. They did, however, cut me some slack on the nostalgic items. When I proudly showed them the outfits that Omar and I were baptized in as babies, my mother's purse from her wedding day, and a baseball glove from Omar's pre-teen era, they conceded. "Sentimental things make sense to keep, but most of this stuff is not sentimental, April." I went on to explain that it was important to me to save items that represent various eras of my life...from childhood to now. "Why is it not okay to save a few things like that?" I pleaded. They didn't argue that point, but they did ask "When was the last time you watched any of these videos in your media cabinet? And do you even own a record player for all this vinyl over here in the corner? And, again...why do you have some many books?" Few people can relate to my love of books.

I began to look at my apartment through a "stranger's" eye. I do have stacks of media (Cd's, DVDs, those VHS tapes, cassette tapes and even one or two 8-tracks...just for the fun of it). My rationale was air tight, I thought. I work in communications. I'm naturally going to have more media than the average person.

"Then why haven't you made a digital conversion? Why don't you have an e-reader? " they asked. My logical (?) response: "I simply haven't gotten around to that yet, but that doesn't mean that I need to throw it all away...right?"

No matter where I scurried, I was losing this tug-of-war. When they asked why wasn't this "stuff" in storage, I said that I don't want that expense. As small business owner, I have better uses of my hard earned money. I'd rather neatly organize and store items in my apartment until such time that I can afford to pay rent on a space that's not generating income.

So my brother offered a solution: "Whatever you can pack up, we'll store in our basement and it won't cost you. We have more than enough space." To his surprise, I had two boxes ready to go the next morning. A few weeks later, I had four more boxes ready to ship. I have come to admit that all this stuff is more than I need.

Since Omar and Maria's pricking, I have been examining my behavior like a mad woman. My issues are glaring and I'm feeling quite naked during this first week of 2011. I have control and trust issues, my need to be self-reliant and always prepared is a tad abnormal (at this very moment, for example, my make up bag has everything in it from safety pins to mouthwash), and I have an obsession with "not letting go." For me, its tantamount to betraying the past (and if you know my work as an activist, then perhaps you can appreciate the symbolism here).

So today, I paused from work to confront my magazine collection that has been stacked in my closet since 1992 or so. I can't fully explain why I have so many issues of Essence, Ebony, Vibe, The Source, Black Enterprise, American Legacy, Black Scholar, and other magazines. Nor can I explain what I'm going to do with the vintage comic books that I have neatly stored in the other closet. Whatever the reasons, I'm examining them all...and letting go. Over the years, I have rationalized that I need these magazines, and books, and phone logs to document my journeys, to recall our culture, to re-visit important past stories - in my personal life and in my community. I have rationalized that, as a writer, I need to be able to reference this media content for all the books that I'll someday write.

Wow. I heard myself, in that moment, explain this to myself and all I could say was "Wow! You, old gurl, are a coward." I can now admit that I'm probably the neatest hoarder there is, but a hoarder nonetheless. I don't know if I would have come to that realization if it were not for the unintended intervention from my family and an episode of "Enough Already! with Peter Walsh" that I watched today on OWN. Kind of freaked me out.

Now my 'not wanting to let go' has come to symbolize all the blockage in my life, all the things that are not growing creatively, not growing in my love life, and not growing in my business. So I'm excited at the shedding that will take place this year. I can't think of a better way to blossom.

"Will Whore for Fame"

A few personal stories have emerged in recent weeks, and as early as this morning, that have reminded me that fame has a dark ability to transform smart people into fools, and some fools into whores. As a professional in the PR and marketing field, I used to say that it is my job to make people famous. In lay people's terms, I am a publicist. That means that clients hire my company to make their visions known to the world. I have to re-write my job description.

It is not my choice to make people famous. My role is deeper and more enduring than that. I work to have people and their projects respected. I start each day so that fame is a consequence of my clients' life/work. If I merely wanted to make clients famous, I could tell them to create silly videos and we'd post them on YouTube. They could become instantly known to hundreds of thousands of people who do not know them right now. But I work differently. I ride my clients about sustaining, at all cost, their already high levels of excellence. I ride them about being thorough, accountable, and efficient in all that they do. I remind them that they must care about the responsible marketing of their work as much as they care about the work itself. Not all press is good press (I have never agreed with that age-old adage). Instead, all our press must have a positive purpose and it must be strategic.


***

I have come to learn that high achievers have big egos and they have extraordinary ambition. They tend to see further, wider, and deeper than most people. With that comes a parallel desire to be heard, seen, read, and/or understood. I am happy to say that I have seen people handle their egos ways that are healthy and even humorous. They use their PR currency for more than just their fleeting need to be adored. Those people make my work rather rewarding. I have also seen the ugly. When the cameras o on or when it’s time for Facebook or Twitter, I have watched others become slaves to their need for attention and for stimuli, any kind of stimuli. I’m reminded that there are cheats, liars, and thieves amongst us (seen and unseen) and that some people will do just about anything to override or delete you (consciously or subconsciously) from the conversation.

A mentor once told me, "There's nothing wrong with saying ‘I'm intelligent, powerful, talented, and resourceful.’ There is something wrong, however, if a person can't demonstrate that they sincerely believe that about everyone else, too."

I prefer the truth. I prefer to deal with people whose egos are visible and not hiding under a cloak of false humility. More importantly, I prefer to work with clients and colleagues who do more than value and tolerate other people. I prefer to work with those who appreciate other people. There's a voluminous difference.

Even still, I say let your light shine. Speak clearly. Learn when to whisper and when to shout. And at the heart of it all, keep your hands clean and your path clear. Nothing endures like good character. If there's a difference between what you agree to and what you do, then close that gap. If you express a commitment but don't believe it, then don't say it. If, in the moment, your talk is passionate, full of emotion, and you feel fiercely passionate about what you're saying, then 9 times out of 10, it's just that: a feeling. Dead words are for cowards. The living word is for healers. If you do the work, the respect will come. In the mean time, don't be a fame whore.

Quotes by Harriet Tubman (In Honor of Her Birth Month and Women's History Month)

“Oh Lord, convert master! Oh Lord, change dat man's heart!' …Oh Lord, if you ant nebber gwine to change dat man's heart, kill him, Lord, an' take him out ob de way.” - - Scenes in the Life of Harriet Tubman by Sarah H. Bradford (1869)

[same quote with less dialect]
“Oh Lord, convert master! Oh Lord, change dat man's heart!' …Oh Lord, if you aint never gon’ to change dat man's heart, kill him, Lord, an' take him out of the way.”

“I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed thousands more if they had known they were slaves.”

“The Lord who told me to take care of my people meant me to do it just as long as I live, and so I did what he told me.”

“I started with this idea in my head, "there's two things I've got a right to...death or liberty.”

“I grew up like a neglected weed, ignorant of liberty, having no experience of it. Now that I've been free, I know what dreadful condition slavery is.”

“I never ran my train off the track. And I never lost a passenger.”

My "Arts & Activism" Interview (A Year Ago Today)

Get Affirmed ;-)

Second best quote of yesterday (and I'm paraphrasing):

"Some people look at great success stories and get inspired...that's it. They never actualize what inspires them. Their response is emotional. Others look at great success stories and get affirmed because they are already en route to their own version of that success."

E. Omar Silver (at it again!)

Quote of the Week

"Nothing replaces diligence and discipline in the pursuit of growing your business...not hope, not good intentions, not luck. Nothing."

~ April R. Silver

"Throw Your Wallet Over the Fence"